As good as it gets


Having reached the age of 21 last month I am possed with the question, what if this is as good as it gets? After all they say your nural pathways have grown as much as they will by the time you reach 21, so i'll be like this for the rest of my life?
Will the things that play on my mind now, the things that lingure in the shadows be the same things that ultamatley shape the rest of my life?

Is that it...

Is this what I was ment to do with my life?

I always felt that I was ment to do so much more, that I was here to make a differance, but right now I can't see it. Right from a early age I knew I was ment to do something but now it all seems so futile, and now there seems there is nothing for me in this world that I can achieve to make it better. In short I think I failed, I failed whatever I was ment to do, whatever I was ment to do to make this world a better place.

I've lead a fairly standard life not doing anything special just living everyday as it comes and doing what I can with it not exactly doing anything inspiring with it, nothing to make people turn their heads sit up and take note, nothing out of the ordanry.

Or maybe the way to acheive a better world is just for me to live the best I can, and lead by a example through the common man. You never know maybe if we all just are the best we can be that will be enough.......


I still feel empty, like I was ment to be doing something more....