Drugs
Nicotine, valium, vicadin, marijuana, ecstasy, and alcohol cococococccc-cocaine


It recently struck me that I do actually take a hell of a lot of drugs through the course of the day:

Coffee

PRO's
- Wakes me up after a night on the raze. So I look slightly awake when my body thinks I should be asleep, or at the very least dozing.

CON'S

- High blood pressure
- Indigestion
- Irritability and potential violence
- Looking like a zombie
- Lack of sleep
- Twitching
- Nausea from drinking coffee from office machine
- I don't like coffee

Alcohol

PRO'S

- Reducing anxiety symptoms.
- Allowing oneself to socialise with colleagues with whom social contact is profitable, but who you would otherwise prefer to see locked in cupboards full of rabid weasels.
- Counteracting the effects of all the coffee you drink and letting you get to sleep.

CON'S

- Fights with horrible co-workers once alcohol is no longer enough to enable you to cope.
- Indigestion and arse problems
- Hangovers and social faux pas that make it even harder to deal with the next day.
- Liver damage, addiction, obesity, heart disease, large red nose.
- Unexpected cash loss.
- Kebab consumption.
- Sexual harassment suits.
- Possibility of being arrested for being drunk in charge of a ugly face


Chocolate

PRO

- Raises blood sugar and releases endorphins to combat acute anxiety.

CON'S

- Blood sugar crashes later on, encouraging the consumption of more chocolate
- Obesity
- Chocolate stains on fingers, keyboard and possibly clothes depending on how much you eat
- Overeating causes nausea


Cocaine

PRO'S

- Wakefulness aid as coffee, but for people with cash excess.
- Also used by brokers to make themselves behave even more like arseholes than they already do.

CON'S

- Behaving like an arsehole.
- Holes in nasal cartilage, constant running/bleeding nose.
- Heart problems, paranoia, psychological addiction and disorders.
- Possible arrest, though if you're rich and middle class that's not so much of a problem.
- Extreme cashflow diversion.

LSD

PRO'S

- Relieves boredom during long, dull stretches of time (Meetings)

CON'S

- May be attacked by giant magnetic Marmots
- Potential to become a hippy
- Will almost certainly lose job if your boss decides to talk to you during period

Lemsip, other cold/flu remedies

PRO'S

- Taken to get you to work when in fact you are too ill to work and should be in bed

CON'S

- Potential for accidental paracetemol overdose
- You should be at home in bed getting better, not in the bloody office, so you don't really get much better
- You then spread your germs to everybody else you come into contact with during the day
- Almost uniformly horrible taste

Pizza & other "fast" foods

PRO'S

- Eaten in response to not having time, inclination or knowledge to cook once you get home from work
- Satisfies craving for greasy crap

CON'S

- Expensive
- Greasy
- Let's not even talk about the indigestion

Cars

PRO'S

- Used to get to work and indeed for work.
- Increasingly large cars purchased to combat feelings of inadequacy caused by work environment

CON'S

- Road death
- Environmental damage
- Expense
- Road rage
- Stupendusly hot as electric windows don't work and I'm to lazy/skint to get them fixed

The internet

PRO

- Taken regularly to relieve boredom, at work and at home, and to attempt to salvage some sort of social

relationships via email

CON'S

- Eye strain
- Spam
- Phone and credit card bills
- Porn addiction


Ok you got me I nicked this idea from fridgemagnet and just made it a tad more relevant to me