Home or Away
"MMmmmmmm beer" - Homer Jay Simpson

The other day I stayed in instead of going out, I had a far bit of booze in the house and after a few I started to debate or which was better staying in or going out, Home or Away if you will.

Home

Pros
Spend less money.
Wide array of entertainment avalable. Such as Television, computer games and the internet.
Nobody laughs at you when you fall over drunk.
Close to your bed.

Cons
Run out of beer.
Internet fueled Porn addiction, leading to huge phone bill.
Drunken ebay purchases.
Become social out cast.

Away

Pros
More variety of beers.
Limitless supply of beer.[1]
Meet people.
Women.

Cons
Spend more money. Purchase of takeout food that you don't need leading to fatnesss and in the case of a curry the next morning sat on a toilet.
Denial of alcohol after a period of time ie. 11.[2]
Have to travel home to go to bed.[3]

I'm sure I came up with more but I can't remember right now, if I remember any I'll add them on. If you can think of any send them into the usual address.


[1] providing you have the cash.
[2] Possibly leading to the idea that it would be a good idea to go to a club in town to get more, its not, beer is watered down and over priced plus taxi leaves you more out of pocket then is feisable.
[3] Unless you can find a nice confortable skip, bench, hedge or other suitable place, but lets face it you generally don't do this on a regular basis.

Todays Annoying Thing Is...

Pub Landlords.

Why do we have to put up with southern landlords coming up here after finishing their training courses at chain pubs?
It's just not on, they come up here with some barmy notion that they will open up a little village pub and everyone will come from miles around as, after all they received there training at weatherspoons (or where ever) and now they know all there is to know about pub work. Well no mate sorry you don't.
You have obviously never used a hand pump before in your life, while a good head is nice on a pint of Black Sheep it shouldn't be fucking 4 inches! It wouldn't help to clean out the pipes occasionally, and those little plastic nozzles, yeah, there meant to go on the end of the tap, not just lie in the drips tray, ye gods!

It's not just the beer either is it, no. You also insist on serving crap up market sort of food such as Penne al pollo, Cuscus & Thai crab cakes. Your average joe going to the average pub at lunch time doesn't want that does he, no all he wants is gammon and egg with a side order of Theakston's old Peculiar.

What kind of a trade off is it when we give them Trev and they give us these wankers?