Burger Bust
Mmmhmmmm This IS a tasty burger - Jules Winnfield

Feeling peckish at lunch time (as sometimes happens) I weighed up my options of what I could have to eat.
It's friday so Fish & Chips tends to be what most people go for but I can't be botherd getting in the car to drive to a good one as the local one is rubbish, the fish are dried up shriveled little things that you get the feeling have been left under the heater all month. The kebabs are good from there though. It's one of those places that combines a little of everything. I decide that having a Kebab covered with hot chilli source on a day as warm as this is just far too unpleasant a prospect for the afternoon. I instead settle on having a burger from the place that's finally deigned to open up it's custom to the lunch time crowd after being closed at lunch for over five years.

It's another of these bit of everything places and I've been told the food from there is good. Except for the Pizza, which seems odd as Pizza features promanatly in the business name.
I look up and down the boards list of burgers with names like: Mexican, Hawaiian, Chicken, Triple, Donner, American.
Now I don't have a problem with people calling their burgers strange names, I even do it myself, however the menus contained no description of what was in the burgers and when I asked the chap behind the counter he just gave me a blank look gestured at the board and said "All there." Well I wasn't about to be out foxed and made to look a fool even by someone so obviously cunning! So I choose myself The Deluxe burger, that would show him I'd get the best god damn burger he had. It was the most expensive bar the Triple Special Meat burger, but I had no intention of eating 'special meat', so I knew I was in for a treat.
I got back to my desk and opened the burger box. I closed it again. Then opened it, lifted the top of the bun and prodded the burger. I then consulted a dictionary. It said:

Deluxe [duh-luhks, -looks]
–adjective
1. of special elegance, sumptuousness, or fineness; high or highest in quality, luxury, etc.: a deluxe hotel; a deluxe edition of Shakespeare bound in leather.
–adverb
2. in a luxurious or sumptuous manner: We always travel deluxe.

I looked at my burger. My burger in a bun. I lifted the burger to see if I'd missed something, because well you never quiet know do you. Nope nothing there, no cheese, no onions, nothing.
I picked up the burger box and headed back towards the shop but his roller shutters where down presumably to keep out the baying masses who demanded proper descriptions of the food they were purchasing.
Well with nothing left to do I went back to my desk ate my burger.

It was a tasty burger. But all I could taste was defeat, you win this round shop owner.

Labels: food, funny, personal, work